When I started writing this blog
I had absolutely no idea what to call it and have thought about changing the
title many times.
A life of a 21st
graduate is just me and my experiences. Of course what I say does not apply to
everyone. Something I have only touched on briefly is the challenges faced
within this futuristic setting. Again these are my opinions and experiences but
I hope you can relate to some of them. So far I have focussed on the struggles
of the job market but I would like to talk about some of the other challenges
that are faced. Basically I am just going to have a wee rant so feel free to
abandon this post here!
I think in some ways my
generation have it much easier than our parents and grandparents but in other
ways it is a lot tougher. We have the opportunities to explore the world much
more easily and have means to keep in touch with people that we have met while
travelling. However these things that were originally made to enhance life are
potentially having a negative impact.
Let me start off with dating! I
have had the pleasure of attending two weddings this year and have a third one
pending. Some of these couples have been together a long time, others for less
than two years but is one love stronger than the other? I don’t think so,
everyone has different circumstances and they are all happy so why do some
people feel guilty if they are in a long term relationship and not married or
even worse people saying that they are happy when they are single? There seems
to be some sort of pretence that you should be married and settled by a certain
age but I am of the opinion that these things do not fit into a particular
formula.
 |
| The gorgeous couple and their dog Monty :) |
I had someone ask me recently if
I was envious of my friends getting married? I can honestly answer no! I am
delighted for them all and am so happy that they have found the person that
they want to spend the rest of their life with but just because I do not have
that does not make me envious. If anything it makes me want to not settle for
anything less than what these couples have. I also have friends who are having
children and I am so pleased for them! They are all great parents and are doing
a fantastic job and just because I am not at the same stage does not mean I
have any less entitlement to be happy for them!
If I look into my family network
most of them met at the young farmers, dated and got married in their early
twenties. Most of the people within their age bracket are still with their
first loves. It all sounds very traditional. Go back further to our grandparents
generation when holding hands was considered as a big step. Now take a look at
the 21st Century. We are surrounded by apps and dating websites like
Tinder and Plenty of Fish. I personally hate the thought of trying to essentially ‘sell’ yourself online to attract people and explaining yourself in a
paragraph. Females are also now on a level playing field and are ‘allowed’ to
make the first move but when it comes to asking to meet someone again, Britain
gets a bit wimpy and have things like the 3 day rule before getting in contact
and not appearing keen or needy. Whereas in America they are more confident and
outgoing and see nothing wrong with dating more than one person at the same
time or saying ‘I had a good time we should do it again sometime’. Obviously
this is a very simplistic summary but I personally think this generation of
dating is seen as much more competitive than the one before.
This takes me onto technology. I
am just as guilty as the next person on being hooked to my iPhone. I am an avid
user of Facebook, Instagram and I will constantly be reading Buzzfeed. This
constant access to my friends and seeing what they are up to can become
obsessive. I will check my newsfeed twice in an hour and not much has changed.
Not only does it make me feel lame for checking but I also feel slightly more
disconnected from my friends as I feel I have to read it online rather than
speak to them in person. Organising meeting up consists of a group message or text,
rarely will I phone people. Take me back to the days where you had to phone the
landline, plans were made and if you had left the house there were no
opportunities for people to tell you they were flaking out.
Social media is potentially one
of the least social inventions ever. Yes you message people and you ‘like’
their status. Making you feel like you have spoken to them or acknowledged your
happiness for them but I would much rather congratulate someone in person. I
know people who will delete a photo/status if it doesn’t get any ‘likes’. When
did this become an issue? If you tell a joke in the pub and nobody laughs you
can’t just delete it, you move on! Social media is making people way more competitive,
obsessive and self-conscious. It makes people feel like they have to prove
themselves to people! I want you to eally take a look at your friends list, how
many of those people would be the ones you would phone with good news as you
know they would be upset finding out online? Those are the only opinions that
matter, not the ones at the other side of the like button.
I say that it is making people
self-conscious as lives are thrust into the limelight and every time you log on
it is a constant comparison. When I was a teenager it was all about MySpace.
You could potentially get judged on the song that you chose when people came
onto your page so you spent ages choosing it. Back them I listened to emo music
but I did not match the look. I would go to gigs in Dundee from 15 onwards and
I remember feeling like I didn’t belong because I had no facial piercings, dark hair or band hoodies. I did however enjoy the music and had a
good time when I was there. Now I have no shame in having a playlist that can
jump from Slipknot to Elton John because that’s my choice.
Now people appear to be worried
about how good they look in their photos, if people use photoshop, what filter
looks best and if you get tagged in a photo that has been taken from an
unflattering angle. All of these things make people feel like the ‘real’ them
is not good enough. Again I am just as guilty of this as the next person. I am
much more likely to laugh at a bad photo than let it upset me but there will be
the odd one that I ask to be deleted. I think the main thing to remember is
that a bad photo is a split second and not what you always look like.
Confidence starts from within and it has taken me a long time to realise that I am not fat, I am not ‘normal’ size, I am me and I am happy. Sure
I could do with a bit of toning but it is going to be me who decides that not
dictated by what I see on Facebook and phases such as the ‘clean 9’ or other
detoxes that have become available. Again if people want to do this that’s fine
but please make sure it is for you and you alone.
I am not sure what influenced me
to put this into writing but I feel better for it and to finish I have attached
some of my favourite Dr. Seuss quotes that I think are a good philosophy to
live by.
- Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind!
- Today you are you and that’s truer than true, there is no one alive that is youer than you.
- You have the brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
- We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
For now I am going to post this
on Facebook so that people will read it and I can feel better about myself......just kidding I post it there to give people the option to read it if they want to J
-
Laura xox
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