I went off the radar!

I have been super busy lately and hadn't realised it had been quite as long since my last post so quick life update:

1. I am settling into my new job and am enjoying learning again and being able to help people.

2. After fundamentally stating that I wouldn't live on the farm when I was younger I am now appreciating where I live. I love travelling and experiencing new cultures but at the moment I am pretty excited about moving into my new house (10 weeks to go!!!). And I am making an effort to try and appreciate Scotland in all it's glory. A few weekends ago my friend took me and Jamie up a couple of munros and it was pretty spectacular :)

My new home :)

Munro bagging :)

3. I have been enjoying my new relationship status and spending time exploring :) However this has unfortunately led to the inevitable of me neglecting some people in my life so:

4. A reminder that my friends are incredible and I am slowly meeting my new years resolution by letting each of them know exactly why they are important. Everyone deserves to know they are valued :)

Now moving onto my usual blog ramblings.
Something that keeps on creeping up in social media is body image. It wouldn't be fair for me to focus on particular people without first explaining my own battle with self esteem.

That's exactly how I view body image as a battle. Which is 100% not what it should be. I think people should be comfortable in their skin but fundamentally they should be healthy. I personally could benefit from improving my diet and exercising a bit more but the main thing that needs altered is my attitude towards myself. I was shocked when I found a diary from when I was 15 and the amount I despised myself. To the point where if what had been written down had been said by somebody else it could have been classed as bullying. But that is how I viewed myself as a chubby teenager who hadn't quite grown out of her puppy fat and felt worthless because of it. I can't imagine the pressure felt by teenagers now with Instagram filters and photos using photoshop being more common than those without. If media showed a more honest representation of what people looked like then I think it would be a step in the right direction.

Me at 16

People often talk about females worrying about body image to impress boys or to impress other girls but I think most people are battling with the idea of the 'ideal' body image created by society.
In the 50s curves were the desired look, later catwalk models became popular and now if you can combine the two by being toned and curvy then you have apparently hit the jackpot.

copyright: http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/RgaGergkHpW/RAFW+2008+09+Zimmermann+Catwal

There has also been a lot of press coverage over Tess Holliday. I personally appreciate that she is a plus size model that is promoting the opposite of what is considered the ideal body type but I feel like people are only viewing the extremes. Fat or thin, tall or short, big boobs or small boobs, long legs vs short legs. Media images have the dreaded red circle which highlights someones saggy skin, cellulite, dark circles under their eyes or a flabby roll on their stomach. So what?? I think people need to stop focussing on individual imperfections and look at people as a whole.

copyright: http://entretenimento.r7.com/blogs/blog-da-db/files/2015/06/tess_01.jpg

My news feed is currently full of people working towards beach bodies and I have no problem with people posting weight loss progress as I am delighted that my friends are happy with their bodies. But sometimes it seems to reach an extreme and almost becomes an obsession and people fail to see how far they have come and what they have achieved.

I feel that the media and even peer groups need to stop focussing on an ideal size. Everyone is different and that what makes life interesting. I know people who eat like pigs and don't put an inch of weight on and others who are a bit heavier and eat much healthier but people are generally judged on their weight, not necessarily their lifestyle/

I would like both men and women to not focus on impressing other people or losing/gaining weight because they believe that is what other people think they should look like. They should do it for them and more importantly do it for their health. Myself included I need to stop worrying so much about what I look like today as when I am older I don't want to look back on photos of myself now and just remember how much I disliked the way I looked. I want to be able to enjoy my life with the body I have :)

Laura xox

Some more babbling!

This year really is passing far too quickly.  In February I celebrated turning 25 and after reading my post from last year I cannot believe what a difference a year makes. This time last year I was in Spain and I wasn't sure what direction I was going in but I was enjoying my time living in a new place with some of the nicest people I have had the pleasure of meeting. Since then I have had many interviews, many rejections and have been working on a new venture by one of the local farmers in getting local produce to customers through vegetable vending machines! I am hoping that 2015 is going to be my year. 

Share my birthday with my lovely gran. Here is her first selfie :) 

I miss these guys way more than they realise! 

Shortly I will be starting a new job and I will hopefully be using skills that I learnt in uni and for this I am truly grateful! I am lucky enough to be having a house built and I will be able to live independently again. For all the members of the boomerang generation I think we all understand the draining feeling of answering the mundane questions of where you are going, who you will be with, what time you will be back, if you are home for dinner. All of the above are solely your parents showing interest but I am really looking forward to being able to do my own food shop, live a bit more environmentally friendly and pay my own bills. I am also lucky enough to be dating a very nice guy and after feeling like I wasn't achieving much I can finally say that I am happy with the way that things are going in my life!

The beginnings of my new home :)

I have come to realise that my insecurity of if I have made the right decisions and fear of judgement stemmed from social media. We are living in a digital age and people are constantly comparing themselves to others. Only today did I log in to Facebook and Instagram and I was inundated by photos of people with the best mothers and where part of me is happy that there is so much love around between children and mums. I can't help but feel a tinge of sadness for those who do not have close relationships or for those who may have lost their mothers but maybe that is just me being a bit cynical. 

The digital age has completely changed the way people interact and communicate with each other. . No matter where in the world they are friends are only a skype call, facebook or whatsapp message away! Even this blog it started off as a opportunity for my friends and family to see what I was up to and it has become something that I wanted to continue. Even if it is just me babbling. I am not sure how much longer I will continue writing it as I feel that what I have to say may not be as interesting or relevant to those who read it. But for the moment it's a nice way to update those who are interested!

One thing I have really noticed recently is how different some people are online to how they are in person. I have recently set up a Twitter account and I just don't get it. I feel like if you are to keep up to date on news you need to be checking it all the time and I don't like that everyone has to be available all the time now. People are struggling to live their 'real' lives because they are so concerned about what is going on online. Everything has to be documented to show everyone else how much fun you are having rather than just enjoying it at the time. I enjoy photography and like trying to capture specific moments but I don't like feeling glued to my phone all the time and often find myself apologising if I have not responded to a text or email for a couple of hours. I was recently at a gig where photos were prohibited and it was great to see people just standing enjoying the music rather than having to watch the gig through the persons screen in front of you.

Maybe turning 25 has made me sound like an old woman but I honestly wish that people would live in the moment and not worry so much about documenting your every move and just because other people are posting about how fantastic their lives are online, try not to let it impact your life. I constantly doubted myself based on what other people were doing and when I step back and take a look I think I am doing alright for myself.

And now I am going to be a massive hypocrite by posting this online ;) 

- Laura xox

Año Nuevo

It’s 2015! How did that happen? As a child I never understood when people said ‘oh haven’t you grown?’ or ‘I can’t believe we haven’t seen each other for a year’A year?? A year to me consisted of Christmas, my birthday, Easter, summer holidays, tattie holidays and Christmas again. The time in between these things seemed like forever! Now I am an ‘adult’ I am now watching friends children grow and develop at a stupidly fast rate with others due to pop this year.

So what did I learn over the past year? I have picked a random ten points:

1.        Who my true friends are, not just those who are there for the good times but those who are there for the bad too. 
2.    .That some people are not worth all of the effort if they would not do the same for you.
3.         That Spain is a beautiful place full of beautiful people.
4.         Goats are awesome.
5.         Work hard and play hard.
6.     Things that you really want are not going to come easily.
7.     I am a pushover.
8.     I can work 17 hour days but I really do prefer at least 8 hours sleep a night.
9.     You cannot expect other people to see your great points if you refuse to see them yourself.
10.        .Life is precious and you never know when you are going to lose a loved one.

Because of these points I have decided to shy away from the resolutions of eat healthier, do more exercise as I have said this at various points throughout the year and although it is important I am not going to set an official target as then I won’t have to beat myself up about it if I don’t meet it. For the moment I am relatively healthy and happy and improvements can be made but not in January it is cold and there are still Christmas chocolates to be eaten.  I would love to stop biting my nails as it is truly disgusting and I don’t know why I do it but again I think it is going to take more than a resolution to make that happen. Thirdly I would quite like to find that someone special but I don’t like when people make this a resolution as come 2016 if they haven’t found that person they feel like they have somewhat failed when in fact they have chosen not to settle for anything less than what is perfect for them.

Therefore my resolutions are simple but relevant for me.

     1.   Stop being such a worrier. Okay you might be a bit late, miss a flight, piss someone off. So what? It is not the end of the world, calm down a little.

      

     2.  On a similar note stop trying to please every single person I come across. Some people are not going to like me and that is okay. I am going to dislike other people and that is okay too. Don't waste time on people who are not having a positive impact. I have some spectacular people in my life and they are the people that matter. My opinions also matter so rather than sitting back and not saying what I think in fear of upsetting someone I think I need to speak up a bit more.

     3.       Finally that leads me onto make sure the people I love know exactly why. I don’t think anyone knows the true impact they have on peoples lives until they are gone and by that time they can not appreciate the difference they have made. Therefore this year it is my mission to let the people who are important to me know why. It may be a passing comment at the pub or a written letter that they can hold onto forever but hopefully come 2016 my friends and family will know exactly what I think makes them special.

Now 2015 who knows what it has in store but I started it with a bang by catching up with old friends and meeting new people. Edinburgh had a cracking fireworks display and I can now say that I have attended the globally famous street party.

I went off to Spain as a last minute trip booked just before Christmas.  It was amazing! Got to go to Barcelona and meet up with Marcus who I have decided to call my spirit animal. He has this ridiculous aura about him that just brings joy to life!(see third resolution Marcus) It was a pleasure to see him again and I am glad we could appreciate the beauty of Barcelona together.

I then went back to Ùbeda to try and surprise the family. I gathered that the parents may have already known I was coming but they were pleasant enough to act surprised when they saw me. Noelia the daughter however had no idea and didn’t even register it was me when we went into her busy work. That was until her mum dragged me directly in front of her. It was so nice to essentially give something back to the family that had done so much for me at the beginning of last year. 

Me being me however did not research my arrival date which was the day of the three kings. This is an important day in Spain and is essentially when the three kings bring the presents for the children to open on the morning of the 6^th January. Bit different from our Santa Claus tale. That meant I got to watch everyone open their presents and I became an extra ‘regalo’ for the day! We watched the parade and the next few days I went back to the farm and then I got sick. Really sick and my trip ended with me being ill. Regardless of this I had a wonderful time and sadly did not get to catch up with everyone I wanted to but just gives me all the more reason to go back.

Camel footprints....

The kings have been!

Roscon de Reyes - basically a heart attack in food form 

My favourite :)

As an end note in about 5 weeks time I am turning 25. Officially mid twenties. What even is that?

Cue the next post being another mild panic about not knowing where my life is going….oh wait resolution number 1. Don’t worry so much!

-          Laura xox